10 ways on how to get rid of Loneliness after breaking up

From check-ins at romantic dinners to photos of shiny new engagement rings, images on social media of “happy couples” are constantly populating our news feeds. And let’s be honest, it can be a tad overwhelming around the mother of all romantic holidays: Valentine’s Day.

get rid of loneliness after breaking up

It’s important to recognize and take loneliness seriously even though it’s commonly thought of as a simple emotion. The reality is: It can have a huge impact on one’s mental health and can even increase your risk of dying earlier. A study from Heart in 2016 found that the risk of loneliness and social isolation is equal to the health risk of being extremely obese. That being said, there are a lot of things you can do to address your loneliness.

1. Share your personal thoughts with a professional listener

If there is a discrepancy between the social life you have and the social life you want, perhaps it’s a matter of perspective. Sometimes talking things out with an unbiased person like a counselor or a therapist can help you figure out what it is you truly want out of your relationships. Knowing yourself is the first step to understanding what it is you want.

2. A furry friend can lift your mood

Bringing a pet into your life may alleviate loneliness by providing social support and companionship. Don’t underestimate the power of the animal to human connection! Pey therapy is a valued practice that pairs a person with a trained animal meant to help improve mental health and social skills.

3. Explore new hobbies and activities

Whether it is gardening, volunteering for a cause that you’re passionate about, or joining a sports league, any activity that gets you to focus on relaxing and developing new skills will help you increase your self-esteem and can help treat loneliness. There is no wrong answer here, just listen within and explore new opportunities!

4. Volunteer at a nursing home

Older adults statistically have the highest risk for feeling lonely. By volunteering your time at a nursing home or hospice, you are doing a great service by reducing their feelings of boredom and helplessness. The positivity and human connection may just be contagious!

5. Make sure you are not depressed

Sometimes depression symptoms can cause disturbances in our perception and can mimic feelings of loneliness. It’s very important to make sure the depression isn’t the cause of the loneliness as opposed to vice versa. Don’t be afraid to talk to you doctor if you’re concerned that you may be feeling depressed and that it’s impacting your ability to be social or combat feelings of loneliness.

6. Take a break from social media

If you find that you’re feeling lonely as a result of everyone else’s pics and status updates, log off and take a breather! Taking some time away from social media can provide you with some clarity and allow you time to process what it is you’re looking for in your relationships. You may even develop a newfound appreciation for the relationships you already have!

From check-ins at romantic dinners to photos of shiny new engagement rings, images on social media of “happy couples” are constantly populating our news feeds. And let’s be honest, it can be a tad overwhelming around the mother of all romantic holidays: Valentine’s Day.

7. Put on the radio or TV

Let’s start of with the easiest one. When we hear conversations around us, our mind goes in the “I’m not alone, it is safe here”-mode. You may even be distracted by what they are talking about. You see, our minds are easily fooled. Why not use this feature to our advantage?!
It may sound funny, but at the time I had neither a radio nor a TV set.

8.  Meet or call people

Loneliness is a feeling, and thus an interpretation of your situation. If you change the situation, your feeling may change along. So the idea is: make yourself “un-alone”. Meet (or call) a friend. You can have a normal conversation, enjoy some activity together, have lunch somewhere.

If you trust yourself and the situation, be vulnerable. Share with them that you feel lonely. Everybody can relate to the feeling, since we all are lonely at some points in our lives. You can ask them to hug you, cuddle with you, massage you – whatever. Maybe you experience shame or discomfort. Prepare yourself, and put some extra courage in your “luggage”. A friend hugging you can relieve a lot of stress hormones that have risen with the loneliness feeling. This is most important for both your physical and emotional balance and health. Even a massage from a professional – not being a friend – will do some good. 

Meeting a friend may have a beautiful side-effect: you relieving his or her loneliness in that moment. You maybe didn’t think about it, but you might just as well be the solution to someone else’s problem.

Sometimes, I would smile at people on the street or on the bus. Or say “hello” to them. Instead of focusing on myself, my attention was shifting to strangers. Give it a try. You could well be amazed about the responses. Some people will look away, and some others will respond with a smile or a good word for you. I did this, and felt a deep connection with people looking back, smiling back at me. I became aware how many of them were also uplifted from their solitude, if even for a short moment. It was both gratifying and humbling.

Volunteer for a charity. Many co-volunteers will appear to be friendly people. They are glad with your help, and therefore with your company. Not only do you meet like-minded people, but they will give you back some self-esteem in most cases. You will be “seen”. Meanwhile, the act of sharing and giving (your time and effort), is very enriching and satisfying. Just Google “volunteer work” plus your hometown, and you’re up to something good.

I myself have done some volunteer work with the choirs where I sang. Working together became a highlight of those lonely weeks.

In general: not being alone will lessen the feelings of loneliness. Yet, the feeling can get aggravated, once you are at your own again. Or even when you don’t dare to make contact while in a social situation. We need more mechanisms to deal with our loneliness than just changing the actual situation.

9. Release the Negative Beliefs about Being Alone

I hung up a note in front of me: “You Are In Good Company: In Your Own, To Be Precise.” When I looked at it, I smiled. It made me aware of my good qualities, and of the beauty of the moment. Moments alone: I could cherish the silence, and look “inside”. I became aware of how I could relate to myself. I saw the many fears and beliefs about “being alone” and how “being together” was not a precondition of my existence.

The mental focus on “being alone” sometimes intensified the feeling of loneliness a bit. But my mind had been calmed. With this calm mind I aroused a kind feeling towards myself, my feelings and my situation. With my fingertips I stroke my face, and I let go of the stress and anxiety.
A person who has learned to be OK when alone, is a much better partner in his or her next relationship. There is a lot of personal growth to be obtained from alone time.

10. Talk To Yourself (in a camera, if you want)

I remember one time coming home from school, and hearing my mother speak to herself upstairs. She was doing household chores, and she had not heard me coming, obviously. When I made some noise to announce that I had come home, she greeted me and did not speak to herself any further that day. It left me wondering if she had gone nuts, or something. But I know better now. Talking to ourselves releases stress and discomfort.

Famous pop singer Beyonce – during her loneliest moments – talked to herself in the camera of her computer. Now, it is one thing to know that an incredibly successful person like Beyonce is feeling lonely at times.

The second thing is for us, the less famous, much more interesting. We can talk to ourselves, feel less lonely, release stress. Afterwards, we can listen well to someone who has good intentions with us. No, you are not nuts if you do. Or you must consider me, my mother and Beyonce are all nuts. That’s OK with me.

Conclusion

If you experience loneliness, it’s up to you to see how to go about it. If you want to change the situation, just check reading my blogpost and imagining how this would be, is clearly not enough. I strongly suggest you really try one or more of my tips to know the effect.

Plus: I offer you a free chat with me about how you can level up your Love life a large bit, and leave loneliness behind forever. And if you want my best tips on Love after a breakup e-mailed to you, please sign up here.

If you do have any question kindly inbox us
And also don’t forget to comment and also subscribe to our newsletter if you think this article was helpful to you.

healthline